Ditch the All-or-Nothing Mentality

I’d start my days before dawn, squeeze in a workout, then pack school lunches, only to tackle the demands of a busy office, and finally race home to prepare dinner, coach the kids through homework, and fit in quality family time. It was a fast-paced life that looked to many like success on the surface. But beneath it all, I was dealing with the strain of chronic stress, chronic health issues like IBS, a secret binge-eating disorder and an energy-depleting anxiety disorder. Eventually, I realised that the “all-or-nothing” mentality I’d been living by was hurting more than it was helping.

After experiencing near burnout, I stepped back and made a commitment to redefine what success and health truly meant to me. I gained knowledge in nutrition, mental wellness, and behavioural psychology to build a new path that was kinder and more sustainable. This journey taught me that small, intentional steps are far more powerful than drastic changes or “perfect” routines. Now, as a Women’s Health & Life Coach, I share as much as I can with others who want to thrive without burning out. If perfectionism weighs you down, here’s a fresh, realistic approach to health that may also work for you…

Start Small, Think Big

When I first started to make changes, I quickly learned that small steps can have a huge impact. Trying to overhaul everything at once, like cutting out all sugar or committing to 30- to 45-minute daily workouts, would have been too overwhelming. Instead, I began by adding one healthy meal to my day or prioritising one extra hour of sleep (all important). Research supports this approach as studies show that small, gradual changes lead to sustainable progress and help prevent burnout. Starting with one manageable change gives you a solid foundation, and once it’s part of your routine, you can build from there.

Let Go of Perfection

This one was tough for me, and truth be told, I’m still working at it. It’s easy to think that if we’re not doing everything “right,” we’re failing. I know that feeling well - I used to have days where I felt like I’d “failed” if I missed a workout or indulged in some sugary delight. But health isn’t about being perfect; it’s about finding a rhythm that works for you over the long term. It’s personal – not perfect. Progress is the goal. Try being kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Real wellness isn’t achieved by perfect choices but by consistent ones. Trust me, a little grace goes a long way in staying on track. 

Focus on Adding, Not Restricting

This requires a mindset shift. When I started prioritising my health, I found it easier to focus on what I could add, rather than what I had to take away. I added more fresh veggies, focused on drinking more water, and chose activities I genuinely enjoyed rather than forcing myself through intense routines that felt like another chore on my long list of things to do. By adding positive elements, I felt motivated, not deprived, and the changes started falling into place more naturally. Scientifically, this approach is not only uplifting for your day-to-day mood, but also proven to be more effective for long-term success, as you’re more likely to maintain the change.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Coming from a corporate marketing role, this was a foreign concept to me. I realised that changing your life doesn’t happen in one giant leap: it’s a journey of small wins over a period of time. I started celebrating each step forward - whether it was preparing a nutritious meal or simply making time to read. Awareness and acknowledgement of these wins will keep you inspired and remind you of how far you’ve come, even when the journey feels slow.

Embrace Rest and Recharging

Here’s one so many of us women are guilty of! One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the importance of rest. There was a time when I pushed myself relentlessly, thinking that more effort meant more results. But true wellness isn’t about exhausting ourselves. Research shows that proper rest reduces cortisol levels and supports overall health (mental, hormonal and physical), making it easier to keep up with lifestyle changes and demands. Now, I unwind with things that genuinely restore me, like reading, prayerful meditation, or simply spending quality time with loved ones. Taking breaks doesn’t mean you’re slacking; it’s a necessary part of staying mentally alert, emotionally balanced, and physically strong.

A New Approach for a New Season 

This year, why not give it a try? Remember, if you’re doing the same thing you did last year, you’re going to get the same ineffective results (leaving you feeling like you’ve failed yourself). So ditch the pressure to do it all or to be perfect in your approach. Instead, embrace the idea of making small, meaningful changes that genuinely matter to you and make sense for your life. I’m here to remind you that you don’t need an all-or-nothing mindset to feel great - you just need a willingness to take one step at a time.

Here’s to a fresh start. Let this be the year you thrive, with a little more ease, joy, and self-compassion along the way.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Leane Adolph is a women’s health and life coach and a wellness advocate and speaker. For more information or to get in touch, visit www.leaneadolph.co.za.